Ease and Grace

For the past 20-ish years I have worked in some capacity of Freelance Producing in the film industry. For most of that time, I have been able to use my income to be blessing to my family and friends, fund my basic needs and personal passions. I have curated art shows, taught classes, coached clients, travelled, volunteered and ran my speaker programs, and so much more. I am so grateful for all of the freedom it has allowed me. A few times over the years I have looked at staff jobs and worked on longer term projects but most thought i would be bored (should i decide?) In the past few years, as the industry has started to shift, I knew that I need to pivot a little and create new flows of income. I started budgeting jobs as a Bidding Producer as well as Producing. Without getting into all of the details, a few of the "booked" long term projects didn't have funding to pay and after several of those unpaid deals, and a shrinking bank account, I started to get a little disheartened with the industry. I'm good at Producing and I love putting all the puzzle together from beginning to end. I honestly allowed the "not so pretty" elements of the industry to get me down. Usually I don't. Last year I also took a leap and started developing an app with the intention of helping us all be a little kinder and more grateful for each other. Unfortunately, my business partner and I split in February and if I'm honest it took the wind out of my sails. It took me the past few pretty tough to months to get over it. I now understand that it was for the best. Who I truly am is a creator, manifestor, humanitarian and an optimist. I found my "glass overflowing" personality feeling at times like things were half empty. That's not who or how i am or have ever been. I won't bore you with the self exploration and discovery I have done to understand old conditioning and patterns that can hold us back if we do not resolve. I'm happy that I have dedicated myself to figuring out why I haven't been seeing Ease and Grace in all areas of my life. I know what my life looks and feels like when I am in the flow. I know what it looks like when I try to force my will and way. afraid to ask for help,  I feel like the times of not wanting to let others down, them thinking I'm not as strong as they see me or my self judgement of how can I coach or guide others when I'm not feeling or seeing a reflection of abundance in all areas. The truth is that we all have struggles. They truth is that if we keep moving forward making choices out of faith and not fear we will hear and see the next right step to get us where we need to be. I am still reaching out to generate income in the ways I've known for so many years and I have a few things that I am walking towards. I am not sure how they will turn out. I do know that as I clear out the things that don't work and as I am grateful for all i do have then my life, everything is perfect in this moment. When I think too far ahead, I create worry. If I look to past choices and experiences, I create self judgement and regret. I can't change it. I allow each choice to be a blessing and a lesson. As I walk forward, I can only ask myself with all the information available to me now what can I do to create PEACE for myself and others. And what do I need to do to create Ease and Gracefully moving forward. I'm excited to see with my eyes back to the TRUTH all the ways this out pictures as my life. 

xo, Dawn